| You know something guys, I been doing a lot of thinking and I have come to the following conclusion, I'm OLD!!! Things are changing right before my eyes and I can't stop it. I'm moving a lot slower, I have frequent aches and pains, I have blurred vision, I sleep early and wake up early, and I pee a lot more; especially in the middle of the freakin night in my freakin urine pot next to my freakin bed. And to further state my case i've come up with the top five reasons that i'm getting old: 6) I'm crossing the street at a green light and as i get to the middle of the street, the light turns red, TWICE! 5) I get on the bus and just when I'm about to sit down, a younger person steals my seat, but not suspecting a thing, i sit down anyway thinking "wow, what a squishy seat". Only seconds later, i tumble on to the floor after being tossed like a fish from the laps of the younger person. 4) Walking up the stairs people use to see my butt, but now all i see are people’s butts. A range of different kinds of butts, small butts, flat butts, big O' butts, plump butts, pear shaped butts, triangular butts, square butts, cigarette butts.......but dam, that’s all my eyes can take and it can’t takes no more! 3) I’m at the clubbing getting down when all of a sudden there is a circle formed around me. I look up and I ask myself, “why is everyone pointing and laughing at me”. Apparently, I was slow dancing to “Salt Shaker”…my shaking was in slow mo. Out of no where, my boy Fu grabs a hold of me and says, “Take it Issssy”!!! 2) Taking my normal stroll through the park, I hear a voice. I turn around, but I don't see anyone. So i continue my stroll. Again this voice calls out to me, I turn around once again and nothing. Finally I look up and there he was, a big fat squirrel. Standing at about 1 feet 1 inch, he was wearing a pair of jordans, with a baseball cap turned backwards, and holding a big fat acorn. "yo kid", screams the squirrel!!! I'm rubbing my eyes and thinking to myself, am I dreaming. Without notice, mr. squirrel chucks his big fat acorn at me and it bounces off my forehead. "OUCH"!!! I pointed at mr. squirrel and said, "u lucky ass rat, a couple years ago, I would have caught that acorn and pegged it back at you". Mr. squirrel laughs and I walk away, disappointed.....*what have I become, I can't even avoid an acorn*.... 1) Lastly, the number one reason is – I still play with my Atari and Sega J the new systems confuse the heck out of me. Too many darn buttons!!! 
My halloween costume!  |
